Category Archives: bubbaloo

Breakfast on a Saturday.

A Saturday? Yes, that’s right. I’m not working. I’m not at school. I’m off on a Saturday! This has not happened in literally months. So I stayed up extra late last night –just because I could– and slept in extra late, a little too late, this morning. It’s been so nice to get up and not have to rush around. I do have some errands to do today, but first, breakfast.

This morning I served up my last two slices of pain de campagne topped with butter and jam and an egg, slightly scrambled.

I usually just drink my coffee black but when I have heavy cream on hand, especially the quality kind (thank you Trickling Springs!), I use it up in my coffee. Delicious.

How do you prefer your eggs? I like mine scrambled and just set so that they’re not entirely dry. My boyfriend hates semi-wet eggs though and often prefers them fried!

Enjoy this beautiful fall weather!

 

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Filed under breakfast, bubbaloo, coffee drink love

Well Done.

This morning a nice lump sum was deposited into my checking account and I decided that it was time to go shopping! Jay had to exchange a shirt at Target and I had to go grocery shopping, so off we went. I stocked up on lots of produce, meats, cheeses, and some other expensive items such as Lucini’s Savory Fig Balsamic Vinegar. It’s fifteen dollars but it’s divine.

When I got home, I did lots of other fun stuff like clean the bathroom and write an entire blog post only to have WordPress malfunction and erase the entire thing. Lots of fun. My stomach was also in knots most of the day so I wasn’t feeling to good. And then dinner happened.

I decided to make a grass-fed burger atop a simple salad with some mashed avocado. I was so excited for this meal and after taking photos promptly dug in. I cut the burger in half and discovered that the entire inside of the burger was still raw, bright pink and scary looking. Now, I know quite a few paleo-aligned people enjoy their meat rare and even raw, but I’m not there yet. I like my meat cooked to medium.

Once I got over my horror I picked the meat up off the salad and threw the burger back onto the pan for another five minutes, by which point it was cooked to medium doneness. Truth: I have made burgers maybe once in my life. Truth: I always nag Jay when he overcooks our burgers, even the slightest bit. Now I understand why he’d rather keep those burgers on the grill that extra minute. Now I understand that if he’s taking his time to make me some dinner, I should probably keep my mouth shut.

I’m sure with time and experience I’ll learn just how long to grill or pan fry burgers to perfection. Until then, I will continue to appreciate Jay and his mad grilling skills. Truth: he grilled the most pain in the ass cheese and veggie filled turkey sliders while we were down the beach. Twenty four at once. In the rain.

Truth is, he’s a keeper and I love him.

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Filed under bubbaloo, dinner

Beach Eats.

Although I failed to blog at the beach, I took lots and lots of pictures. Of course, most of them were of food.

My favorite breakfast down the beach was probably the above; a plate of eggs sandwiched between a small sliced tomato and some leftover, warmed blue cheese balsamic potato salad. So good! I really enjoyed the potato salad, which I made by loosely following a Bobby Flay recipe from Southern Living. My grandmom always has tons of magazines and I took one to the pool with me every day to scour for recipes.

A typical post-breakfast scene.

I tried to pack a good serving of vegetables every day at the beach by having massive salads for lunch. This one was my favorite, by far.

A bed of romaine and fresh tomato topped with leftover sauteed green beans and coconut roasted carrots, plus a hard-boiled egg. I made my favorite coconut oil spiced carrots for my grandparents one night and while my grandmom was initially skeptical due to the red pepper flakes (she hates spicy!), she and my grandpop both enjoyed them. I was happy to see my grandpop get some coconut oil in too, as I’ve heard that it can help immensely with Alzheimer’s, which he suffers from.

Of course, Jay was the first to find some fun in my food and I christened this salad Herbert the Happy Salad. How could you not want to eat that face?

On our last night down the shore, Jay and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. I’d never been before but Jay had and he raved about it. I went for the Thai Curry wings and Jay ordered the spiciest dry rub that they offered.

These were definitely uniquely flavored and quite spicy! I didn’t really taste the spice at first but after my third or fourth wing I was chomping on celery like crazy to cool my mouth. Jay’s dry rubbed wings were really good too. Needless to say, we will be back.

Although I rarely drink, I decided to finally pop open the bottle of beer that my coworkers bought me for my 21st birthday. There’s a pub inside of the Whole Foods that I work at and a few of my coworkers are trained to work in there; thus, they have access to lots of specialty beers! I had no idea that they would actually buy me a beer and it was such a sweet gesture! Plus, I love owls. The decals were perfect.

I don’t have much of a taste for beer yet but I did enjoy the brew. I felt pretty buzzed halfway through and had to put it aside for later because I was making dinner! To my credit, though, it did have an alcohol content of 11.2!

Have a great Wednesday!

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Filed under breakfast, bubbaloo, dining out, dinner, lunch, salad, whole foods, wiaw

The Patient.

Yesterday I went for a long walk on the beach. I brought my ipod and plugged in my headphones, but even with that distraction I couldn’t keep the thoughts from running. Sometimes I really enjoy walks. Sometimes, when I’m comfortable with where I am and how things are, I can completely lose myself to world and be absorbed by the music. Yesterday, that was not the case. I couldn’t stop thinking about where I am in my life and how things have changed. It occurred to me that I am no longer a patient. I have been out of the hospital for almost two years now. I’ve been symptom free for seven straight months. That is, until yesterday.

I returned home from my walk exhausted but I couldn’t sleep — again, the washing machine, not to mention the four or five bodies walking in and out of my room, opening the door, drawers and the like. I figured that when everyone left maybe I could sleep, but when I laid down for a few minutes after they left I wasn’t tired anymore. So I got up. Got something to eat. And it hit me, that urge that I haven’t really experienced in months. The most efficient way for me to waste time. The most caustic way for me to destroy my body. I tried to be rational. Seven months. How could I throw that down the drain? What would it be like to tell my doctor? Didn’t I care?

In that moment, I decided that I didn’t. And with the first bite, I knew what I would do. I didn’t try to stop myself. It’s scary how easily the routine came back to me. Chew, swallow, purge, clean. It had a very numbing effect on me and maybe that’s what I was going for. But that’s not what I want. Not today.

After I binged and purged last night, I showered. I always shower. It’s my way of cleaning myself, of trying to erase the bad, the ugly side of me. I didn’t feel good after purging. Empty, yes. But also exhausted and weak. I called Jay and we talked for a while. He reminded me that one incident does not erase seven whole months. It’s still hard to believe. It’s still hard for me to accept. It makes me question my recovery. How is it possible for me to have so many days of feeling 100% recovered and then one fine day, just slip up? How is that fair? Where is my rationale? Where is my will?

I have grown to love food. I have enjoyed experimenting and challenging myself. I haven’t expected the criticism, largely from my sister and also from myself. She makes me feel bad for enjoying food. She makes me feel like a freak because I like to cook and try new things. Why can’t you just be normal? She always asks. I have no response. But I enjoy what I do. It’s my method of coping, really. And wouldn’t she rather have a sister who enjoys food than a sister who abhors food?

During my walk yesterday, I thought about a lot of things. How silly I feel for trying out for my school’s dance program. How embarrassing it was to have to take “remedial” classes. How I don’t want to start over, even if I feel unwelcome within the program. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to doubt myself.

During my walk, I contemplated my identity in terms of my eating disorder. I know so many people who still struggle, so many wonderful people. I still struggle, clearly, but how is it fair to say that I struggle when it is so little in comparison? I know what it is like to pull the covers over your head and hope to never have to come out. I know. But that’s now where I am anymore. I know that I can move on from that hell, but I need to give myself the permission to.

As much as I hate my eating disorder, it did give me one thing; an identity. I belonged within the sphere of those who cycle in and out of treatment centers. I was sick, eternally sick. But I’m not anymore. And I don’t belong there anymore. That’s hard to swallow. But that loss of self is necessary. It’s necessary to lose that self if I want to thrive, to really live.

Sometimes I don’t feel like I have much. Last night, I had no one within my immediate vicinity to keep me company. But I did have a phone. A boyfriend willing to talk. The distraction of my computer. A great book. I had and I do have so much. I need to remember that.

I want to take today to rest and restore my body. I want to rebuild my body as best I can by consuming nourishing foods. I know that I can. I will. I am. I will not let my self doubts override me today. I will not give in to the hatred. Today, I will forgive myself. I will treat myself with the care that I deserve. I will let myself let go of the patient. I am not her anymore.

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Filed under bubbaloo, ed, recovery

I’ll Make You Banana Pancakes.

I woke up this morning to the sounds of an angry washing machine. It rattles everything around loudly with no regard for the bedroom to which it’s directly adjacent; mine. It wasn’t an entirely bad wake up call because it’s an absolutely beautiful day here at the beach. And also, I got to sit down to this wonderful spread not long after I woke up.

Three ingredient banana pancakes. One banana, two eggs, and a spoonful of almond butter. That’s it, that’s all you need. Plus some butter for frying and perhaps a drop or two of vanilla and a few sprinkles of cinnamon. But seriously, these are the best grain free pancakes I’ve had so far. Coconut flour pancakes are always too dry for my liking and while these banana pancakes are super thin, they’re super sweet and moist. You don’t even need syrup!

For breakfast this morning I enjoyed four of these thin, crepe-like pancakes served with a fresh sliced peach and some blueberries. Coffee on the side!

For lunch a few days ago I browned about four ounces of grass fed ground beef with onion, garlic, parsley and taco spices (cumin, chili powder, etc). Served atop some red leaf lettuce with a bit of tomato. I was super hungry but super stuffed after this gigantic bowl! It kept me going for hours.

On Monday night I made dinner for Jay and I. We started off with an appetizer of fresh mozzarella topped with slow roasted cherry tomatoes, olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper. So good. Jay doesn’t like tomatoes so I ended up eating most of them. I can’t complain.

For dinner I roasted a pastured chicken with lemon, garlic and parsley. We had some zucchini on the side but I didn’t snap any pictures of the actual meal because we were so hungry!

I hope you enjoy the rest of this beautiful day. As for me, I’m off to the beach!

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Filed under breakfast, bubbaloo, dinner, lunch, nut butter, paleo, primal, salad, wiaw

From The Weekend.

This weekend was wonderful. It started out with a trip to the farmers market, where I gathered an overabundance of fresh produce.

Organic, farm fresh cherry tomatoes tossed with fresh parsley, basil, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper. Prepped this way to be slow roasted and tossed over salads, zucchini noodles and more.

After the farmers market I brought Jay a cookie at work and then went home to start getting ready for our evening adventure at the Xponential Music Festival! We went to the show that featured Dr. Dog, The Avett Brothers and Wilco. Jay and I were both so excited and we listened to The Avett Brothers on our way down to the concert.

Happy faces! Although Dr. Dog and Wilco were both lovely, we had the best time dancing and screaming our heads off to The Avett Brothers. They started off with one of my favorite songs, Murder in the City, and also played one of Jay’s favorites — Go to Sleep. It was a great time.

You can’t really tell from this picture, but The Avett Brothers are rocking out less than fifty feet away from us. Jay got us great seats and I could see mostly everything, especially when I stood on my seat!

On Sunday Jay and I bid goodbye around 10 am. He went to see The Dark Knight Rises and I went to my massage! The deep tissue massage was great. My massage therapist was very gentle and accommodating, and she made me feel comfortable despite the fact that I felt a bit out of place. People who go there are generally regulars — I haven’t had a massage there, much less anywhere else in over three years!

I told her that I experience most of my tension in my neck and shoulders and so she worked those areas the entire time. She was able to move and stretch my neck in ways that I wouldn’t have thought possible. Her technique was also different than I expected; instead of jamming her elbow into my shoulders (which is something I ask Jay to do all the time), she used her fingers to slowly slide along a muscle until they arrived at the knot of tension. Then she would hold her fingers there for a little while and finally release them from the knot. It was definitely an eye opening experience.

When I got home from the massage I drank tons of water and then passed out. Massages are essentially a form of passive exercise, so I had no qualms about sleeping midday. After my nap, Megan and I went shopping at Target because we had giftcards from our birthday and then we went to see The Dark Knight Rises at 10 pm! It was a fun filled, busy weekend and I feel like I’ve spent the past two days just winding down from it.

I have the next three days off for vacation, during which I hope to catch up on posts and relax in the sunshine. I’m down the shore right now so it shouldn’t be hard to do!

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Filed under bubbaloo, grocery shopping, love

Soup & Salad.

Soup and salad is my go-to combo at House these days. Today Jay and I stopped by for a quick lunch before he had to go to work.

I ordered my usual; the King Khan salad, which is made of buffalo spiced chicken salad with charred onions and gorgonzola atop a bed of greens.

With soup on the side, of course.

If I could eat a variation of this meal every day for lunch, I’d be a pretty happy camper. You can’t go wrong with this combo.

Delicious and not overly filling. Plus, you can’t beat the price or the quality of ingredients at House. I simply love it.

On a completely unrelated note, I scheduled a deep tissue massage for my birthday present to myself this Sunday! I am so excited. I’ve never had a deep tissue massage before, unless you count the many times I’ve asked Jay to sink his elbows into my shoulder muscles. Although I’ve enjoyed the Swedish massages I’ve had before (not that I’ve had many, mind you) they never press hard enough to work out the tension in my shoulders and neck. And while I know that one sixty minute session will be far from what I need to remove all the knots in my back, I’m hoping it will give me some relief.

I think I really do experience some sort of chronic inflammation in my shoulders and neck, probably from all the self-adjustment (cracking) I’ve done over the years. Also, I just tend to hold my tension in those areas. I guess we’ll see how I feel after the massage. I can’t wait!

 

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Filed under bubbaloo, dining out, lunch, salad